Monthly Archives: September 2011

Quiet Down in There

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Double scheduled, over scheduled & thinking about our water-logged ceiling shook me awake today. Maybe King David had insomnia, too- he said he would not rest until he found a dwelling place for the Lord (Psalm 132). When he found it he said, “Arise oh Lord, and come to your resting place (place of quietness)”. So the question is, have I found a dwelling place for the Lord in my heart-a place of quietness for Him? Lord, may I quiet my heart, that You may find a resting place there. “Be still and know that I am God”. Shucks, I feel better already!

Thy Will Be Done

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I have this very spiritual speech to write and only one more day to write it.  So I pray, giving my day to the Lord and then the next thing I know I’m picking up my daughter from soccer practice, dropping my son off at church, finding the income tax papers my husband John needed, and stripping the bed for a missionary couple needing a place to stay for the night.  Done (with grace, I might add).  AND THEN.  And then John spilled coffee all over the Bibles on the kitchen table where we’d just finished our devotions, which, ya’ know, you’d think doing devotions would offer some protection from this sort of thing.  Five minutes later, spilled milk and cereal.  Grace vanished without a trace.  Hands on hips and I said, “Okay- I love you all, but I’m off to work now-escaping to the solitude of a classroom full of preschoolers.”

On the way to work, I was praying (if shouting with a bad attitude can be called “praying”), “Lord, have I mentioned that my life seems to be one long interruption to really important plans?!!  Where do you stand on things like EFFICIENCY?  I’m just saying.  I could get a lot more of ‘Thy will be done’ if you’d do things my way!”

Well of course, He was working His will, which as usual had nothing to do with mine (sigh).  His will was to keep me from any notion of self-importance; to teach me gentleness, serenity, and “good naturedness”- all of which I flunked.  But…tomorrow is another day-and like every other day, there will be enough time for everything, if the everything is His Will.

Hope Floats

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Today an R.N. gave me permission to finish off the last half of the ice cream carton.  I also got the okay to stop exercising so hard.  In fact, I could be jeopardizing my health by not eating the ice cream!  Regarding the exercise, it’s not that I exercise so hard, but I think about it A LOT and, well, I don’t have to anymore.  The combination of ice cream deprivation and extensive exercise is downright deadly.

Okay, it wasn’t exactly an R.N. Actually it was an N.R. (Newspaper Reporter), but you can see how I could get those two mixed up.  The article said that a sixty-year-old man was swimming in the Snake River during a triathlon and suddenly disappeared after raising his arms into the air.  It took authorities thirty minutes to find him because he sank immediately to the bottom of the river.  The cause?  No body fat.  The article didn’t specifically say this was the cause, but I have done extensive body fat studies at my own personal expensive and my research has shown that, due to a healthy lifestyle, I do not sink.  Ever.  I have a nice little floating device right around my middle where it matters most.  What would be the use of having it around my ankles causing me to float upside down?  No, what I have could only be designed by God to help us “over-50-somethings” be safe in our water-aerobics classes.

How horrible it would be to have, say, a bathtub accident and no one be able to find me for over half an hour due to the fact that I sank to the bottom of the tub?  Uh-uh.  No sir, not me.  If I ever have an accident in the bathtub, they will be able to find me immediately as I’m built like a bar of Ivory soap:  99% pure (give or take a few percents-you know how statistics work) and…it floats.

So burn your sports bra, sisters, get out that spoon and head to the freezer.  It’s our only hope.

P.S.  You may observe the need to eat the first half of the carton in order to have a second half to finish off.

P.P.S.  Why would anyone swim in a river with the word “snake” written with a capital S, anyway?  Probably a brain deficiency due to lack of some trace element found only in Haagen-Daz.