A smidgeon of jerk-ness

I have noticed just a smidgeon of unreasonability (is that a word?)  in myself: When I get on the scale and don’t like what I see, I start obsessing about the amount of ice cream my husband John is eating.  When I am feeling happy about my weight, my husband John could eat 5 scoops of deep fried ice cream and it wouldn’t bother me.  But I badger him, when my skirt is too tight!  Go figure.  That’s when Holy Spirit the Attorney steps in to address the issue:

Holy Spirit (with glasses at the end of his nose, holding a stack of documents):  “Isn’t it a fact, Mrs. Cowan that on the evening your husband was eating ice cream, you were wanting his ice cream and you were aware of the fact that though his pants still fit him, your skirt was too tight, and in a fit of insecurity, you took your verbal mallet and hit him over the head about his eating habits?”,

Me (sobbing with my head down on the witness table):  “YES! YES! it true!”

Geesh- my sins look bad on others.

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  Matt. 7,3-5

Translation:  Why do you look at the love handles on your husband when you can’t even get a handle on your own?

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