Who’s Will?

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exhausted-2

Apparently, the Wi-Fi of heaven is down.  Every day I wake up with my kingdom TO DO list and send God the memo.  I haven’t received a text back.  So I’m trying a new approach.  I start each day with this prayer, “Lord, help me seek first Your kingdom today, and show me what that looks like.”  

Personally, I’d rather be religious.  It’s so much more predictable than seeking His kingdom.  GIve me a structured list of laws- it’s safe, un-messy and it can be wrapped up, ready to ship to heaven by Sunday afternoon. 

Seeking the kingdom of God on the other hand, is a looking up, listening up, sort of thing. I’m surprised at the answers.  It’s not the doing/fixing/mulling/guilting/fearing of my self-made religion.  Not that doing is wrong — faith absolutely commands it, but it’s not the flailing around, throwing myself at this and that until I’m foaming at the mouth, too wasted to figure out what I was actually supposed to be doing. 

First on the list for me is,  Be still…  Oh, not that again. “Be swamped” seems more spiritual.  …and know that I am God.  Huh… apparently I don’t know that, because if I really knew that, I’d stop trying to be the boss of this whole planet.  

Second is do His will, as opposed to the will of the voices in my head.  This is really how R-E-L-I-E-F is spelled.  Jesus did not do everything.  He didn’t fix, heal, or give everyone a good hair day. He didn’t come to do the will of the multitudes, Jesus came “not to do my own will, but the will of Him who sent me.” (John 6:38) So what makes me think I’m God’s gift to Man for every need, urgent demand, and all “reasonable” requests?  Well…let’s see…for starters, fear of not doing enough; fear it won’t get done; fear of being judged; fear of not being Time Magazine’s Woman of the Year.    

I’m a real fumbler at this, but seeking his Kingdom last week looked like lunch with a friend, playing Interior Designer at our new church thrift store with my daughter Grace, substitute teaching, taking a nap, writing, feeding college-age omnivores, hanging with my refugee friends, and in the end, sleeping in with my husband until noon.     

“Seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  (Matt. 6:33) What things?  Well, besides the provisions promised in that passage,  I had more than enough energy to do His will,  and unwavering peace knowing He really IS God, to look back and say, “That was a great week, let’s do it again.”   

 

 

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