Outside the Camp

One of the great blessings of having had eight kids, is they kept me real.  Unfortunately for them, “real” was not always pretty. I homeschooled for twenty years, which means by the time they graduated, they could spell P.M.S. without a hitch.  The poor things only got relief from me when I went to the hospital to have another one of them.  “Yay!  Mom’s having another baby!” took on a dark, hidden meaning known only amongst themselves.  Basically, it meant Dad served dessert; for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I understand more fully why the Lord commanded a woman on her period to stay away from people, declare herself unclean, and “live outside the camp” (Leviticus 15:19). It was simply more straightforward than, “WHY HAVE YOU RUINED MY LIFE BY LEAVING YOUR SOCKS ON THE FLOOR AND NO IT’S NOT BECAUSE I’M ON MY PERIOD, YOU MORON! (This is also why men like camping).  Actually, Leviticus 15 says if she’s having “issues”- which, y’know, means King James had some first-hand experience. All this to say, if you are on the receiving end of  “a woman with issues”, it’s your own fault. Read your Bible.  Ezekiel 18:5-9 listed way before Star Trek, how to live long and prosper (I’ll skip to the pertinent part here):  “If a man be just, and do what is right..hath not lifted his eyes to idols…neither hath come near to a menstruous woman…he shall surely live.” See? God knows stuff.  Okay, God is actually talking about not being intimate with a woman on her period, because He has noticed some of His creations are not the sharpest tools in the shed. But I say, the further away the better, and I think John would like to raise a tentative little pinkie of agreement. The lesson here is read your Bible and don’t skip over seemingly irrelevant parts.  Your life may depend on it.  Thankfully, God uses all things for good, and my daughters-in-law have me to thank, that at certain times of the month, while other young husbands find safe alternatives to being home- like, say- bear hunting, their husbands take it all in stride, “Oh..that.” “C’mon kids- let’s go get some ice cream!”  And return home  five days later. Ezekiel 18-Read it and live it.  There’s good stuff in there.

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