I was eighteen when introduced to Christ through John- the cutest, smartest, kindest guy in college (I took a poll of all my thoughts, and the vote was unanimous). A year and a half later, we married. The first few years, my relationship to Christ was so entwined with John’s, it was unclear to what extent my “faith in Jesus”, was actually faith in John.
A life crisis- one of those earthquake situations- forced me to examine my personal relationship with Jesus and confront my beliefs:
“Maybe my connection to Christ is solely through osmosis. Is it possible ‘this little light of mine,’ is merely the broad glow of John’s steadfast faith? Who IS my lifeline to God- John or Jesus? What do faith and trust even look like?”
I quickly had to choose whether to allow the Lord to teach me this hard lesson of trust, or pull the escape hatch.
The decision to trust occurs in a moment, but the learning to trust occurs over a lifetime of such moments and decisions:
To obey His Word, rather than my impulses;
To believe His ability in the face of impossibility;
To trust that even if the worst of my fears are realized, He is there, even in that dreaded place.
And- perhaps the hardest of all decisions:
To cry out to Him, when I have miserably and completely and continuously failed all of the above.
Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves…
2 Cor. 13:5a
You cried to me in trouble, and I saved you; I answered out of the thunder and tested your faith when there was no water.
“Daughter,” He said to her, “your faith has made you well.”
Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?
Jesus replied, “…what is that to you? You follow me.”
from John 21:21,22