Monthly Archives: October 2015

The Deadman’s Float


When I was six years old, I nearly drowned in the Feather River at a place called Bidwell Bar. The sandy bottom was firm under my feet, and then… it wasn’t. I went under. My dad rescued me by pulling me up and out by my hair. Shortly after, he decided to teach me the dead man’s float. It was a long process- especially for a man like Dad, who had not an ounce of patience- or so I thought, but eventually, I learned to stop fighting the water. I also learned that just before my head went under, his arms were there to hold me up. And one day, I learned how to more than survive: I learned to swim; to breathe, to cut a path through water; to enjoy the rhythm, and the freedom that feels like flying.
Years ago, John and I witnessed a murder. The gunman was connected to a mafia group, and a hitman was assigned to kill John. With this, my terra firma shifted. My feet could not touch bottom, and I sank into mirky depths of depression. My questions were, “Where were You, God? Where are you now?”
He answered by teaching me the deadman’s float- He taught me to stop fighting the uncontrollable currents of life, to completely yield and relax into what I could not see- His hands beneath me, catching me, lifting me up for air. I not only survived, I learned to swim. I learned He WAS there, He IS there, and underneath are His Everlasting Arms. I swim in the paths of His commands. It feels like flying.
Life threatens to drown us. But if we will stop flailing our arms long enough to hear His voice and trust Him, relax into Him, we’ll not only survive, we will enjoy a freedom from fear that feels like flying.

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown…for I am the Lord Your God…Your Savior.” Isaiah 43:2a, 3a


Out of the Ashes


We have family that own property within Yosemite National Park. A terrible fire devastated the area, burning down the old family cabin. The desolation uncovered a remarkable sight: formerly hidden by brush and trees, there now appears a glorious view of El Capitan, Half-Dome and Cloud’s Rest. Those granite fortresses have always been there, of course, but it took the fire to reveal their presence.
The prophet Isaiah experienced such a fire. The benefits and comforts of being a friend of the king, went up in smoke with the death of King Uzziah. Isaiah begins a new chapter of his life with, “In the year King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord…” Isaiah describes all he sees from this new perspective, born out of grief and loss. What follows is a new Isaiah, a new ministry, and a new relationship with the Lord (Isaiah 6).
Likewise in my life, a consuming fire; a burning away of attachments, the familiar, and even what is “safe”, is often necessary in order for me to see Jesus Christ for who He really is, rather than what I’ve heard or imagined Him to be. I fear the process, forgetting His intent is not to destroy me, but to destroy the things that obstruct my view of Him, and cause me to live unaware of His plan for me.
But from the ash of “All is Lost!” rises “All is Gained!” when my eyes see clearly El Capitan, My Captain, My Christ.
“I have lost all things…that I may gain Christ…to know Him…” (Read Philippians 3:7-11)