Monthly Archives: April 2013

A Crouton of Christ



After the morsel, Satan then entered in him. – John 13:27

A little bit of Jesus can be a dangerous thing.  Jesus handed Judas a morsel of bread, and “Then Satan entered into Judas”.  Wow.  How does that happen?    I don’t know, but as I think about my walk with the Lord, I wince at some of the things I’ve done with a crouton of Christ.  

Peter had the same problem.  His idea of standing for Christ was to chop off a guy’s ear. Maybe it was a simple misunderstanding on Peter’s part regarding Job 34:2,  “Give ear to Me.” 

I too, have chopped off a few ears by not guarding my passions.  Discerning the appropriate occasion in which to use extreme measures, such as wielding a whip and knocking over tables, is something I need to leave to Jesus.  

Yeah, Peter, Judas and I go way back. The difference is, Peter stuck around long enough to take another morsel, and another, and another.  Mixed with a morsel of faith, and healthy dose of humility, Peter grew out of his quirky little ear-chopping habits and became a contributing member of society.  I’m hoping the same can be said of me someday. 



I’m a sucker for crazy.  Put me in close proximity to someone who lives in chaos and I soon join them.  Simple communication becomes anything but, and pretty soon I find myself wondering, “Is it me?”  Well, maybe it is me, because truth be told, I’m just a leetle bit crazier than I’d like to admit (and c’mon, so are you). I must take honest inventory of my own lunacy. Am I a button pusher? An enabler? Probably, and I need to own it and repent- or to put it in high liturgical terms- Stop It, just STOP IT.

I’m not clinically qualified in any way, unless clinical insanity qualifies me, but I’ve noticed fixated, addicted, and otherwise obsessive people want to do the Vulcan mind meld with me. I can resist by remembering this fact: Crazy people want me to join their Crazy Club.

David was in such a relationship with Saul. Saul loved David-at least he did this morning at breakfast, but now it’s lunchtime and Saul is having a bit of trouble keeping his steak knife to himself. David ala King is on the menu. I wonder if David agonized as I do, “It can’t be Saul- He’s the King, for heaven’s sake- it must be me.” David discovered the key to dealing with Saul: Do not let the crazy person be your plumb line; take your cues from the Almighty Sane One.

“Give yourself completely to God and keep on keepin’ on” (1 Cor. 15:58, sort of). When I look to God, He highlights where I must change, or let go, or love; and then I must stand, not allowing myself to be moved by chaotic thinking. When I’m tempted to react I can hear the Lord command in His God-as-Dog-Trainer voice: “Leave it.”

Eventually, David came to a very sane conclusion when he said to Saul (1 Sam.24),
“May the Lord judge between you and me…but my hand will not touch you.”

Note to self: Go and do likewise: Pray, obey and stay out of the fray.

Hopefully now you’ll know what to do when I invite you to join my club.

A Little Crazy Help

Who’s Will?



Apparently, the Wi-Fi of heaven is down.  Every day I wake up with my kingdom TO DO list and send God the memo.  I haven’t received a text back.  So I’m trying a new approach.  I start each day with this prayer, “Lord, help me seek first Your kingdom today, and show me what that looks like.”  

Personally, I’d rather be religious.  It’s so much more predictable than seeking His kingdom.  GIve me a structured list of laws- it’s safe, un-messy and it can be wrapped up, ready to ship to heaven by Sunday afternoon. 

Seeking the kingdom of God on the other hand, is a looking up, listening up, sort of thing. I’m surprised at the answers.  It’s not the doing/fixing/mulling/guilting/fearing of my self-made religion.  Not that doing is wrong — faith absolutely commands it, but it’s not the flailing around, throwing myself at this and that until I’m foaming at the mouth, too wasted to figure out what I was actually supposed to be doing. 

First on the list for me is,  Be still…  Oh, not that again. “Be swamped” seems more spiritual.  …and know that I am God.  Huh… apparently I don’t know that, because if I really knew that, I’d stop trying to be the boss of this whole planet.  

Second is do His will, as opposed to the will of the voices in my head.  This is really how R-E-L-I-E-F is spelled.  Jesus did not do everything.  He didn’t fix, heal, or give everyone a good hair day. He didn’t come to do the will of the multitudes, Jesus came “not to do my own will, but the will of Him who sent me.” (John 6:38) So what makes me think I’m God’s gift to Man for every need, urgent demand, and all “reasonable” requests?  Well…let’s see…for starters, fear of not doing enough; fear it won’t get done; fear of being judged; fear of not being Time Magazine’s Woman of the Year.    

I’m a real fumbler at this, but seeking his Kingdom last week looked like lunch with a friend, playing Interior Designer at our new church thrift store with my daughter Grace, substitute teaching, taking a nap, writing, feeding college-age omnivores, hanging with my refugee friends, and in the end, sleeping in with my husband until noon.     

“Seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  (Matt. 6:33) What things?  Well, besides the provisions promised in that passage,  I had more than enough energy to do His will,  and unwavering peace knowing He really IS God, to look back and say, “That was a great week, let’s do it again.”